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Halo (finally) online Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 8:16 PM EST on 7/26/2002
File Under: Games -> Xbox

Welp, the router I ordered came today, and after much hassle, I got both XBConnect and GameSpy Arcade working with my Xbox. For the longest time, neither program would recognize my Xbox, but after hours of tweaking router settings to no avail, I finally discovered that my PC somehow had a double installation for its NIC, which apparently confused the hell out of the Xbox tunnel programs. Once I took care of that, it was off to online Halo bliss! ... Or so I thought.

In my short time in playing Halo online, I've discovered two things: 1.) People REALLY like to kick you out of a game when you only have one player on your box, and 2.) There are so few servers that finding one with a decent ping is a major bitch. I felt like I was back on my 56k.

So yeah, I figure I'll probably only be playing with friends from now on. The hassle of finding a decent game to join really isn't worth it. Unreal Tournament on the PC is far better as a multiplayer game anyway. At least now I have everything set up for when online games hit the PS2 and Xbox Live comes out...

Oh, and feel free to challenge me to a game of Halo. I promise you'll win, I suck!

Quickie movie reviews Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:34 PM EST on 7/22/2002
File Under: Movies & TV

I've seen several movies of late, but don't really feel like writing in-depth reviews of any of them. They were all worth seeing, but I didn't feel particularly strongly about any of them. So, here are some quick impressions of each:

The Royal Tenenbaums - I expected more comedy and razor sharp wit from this follow-up to the hilarious Rushmore. Instead, I got a far more introspective look at a totally dysfunctional family. Plenty of humor and wit were still sprinkled in appropriately, but the drama outweighed the comedy. It definitely had a similar feel, so I would recommend it for anyone who enjoyed Rushmore.

Hart's War - My dad rented this one, and I figured I'd watch it along with him since I had nothing better to do. It was okay at best. It's a World War II drama surrounding American POWs in Germany. A racist white American soldier is killed, and a black officer is charged with his murder. Hart represents the officer in trial, which all takes place in the POW camp under the watchful eyes of their German captors. I didn't find it particularly engaging, and Bruce Willis is laughably stereotypical as the brutish colonel. I'd recommend Enemy at the Gates instead, if you're looking for an atypical WWII drama.

Moulin Rouge - I made a deal with a friend where, if she would watch The Man Who Wasn't There, then I would watch Moulin Rouge. I'm not too sure what to make of it. Visually, it was stunning - simply incredible to look at. The plot was cliche, and not being a fan of musicals, I found most of the numbers to be hit or miss. Admittedly, some were a lot of fun to see and hear, but I actually broke down laughing at how stupid a few others were. I'm neutral on this one.

The Road to Perdition - The best of the bunch. It wasn't what I expected at all, and that's a good thing. The previews made it out to be a sort of feel-good road-trip coming-of-age kind of thing. Sure, that was a part of it, but it was way darker than I ever expected. Tom Hanks plays the part of a prohibition-era gangster hitman who sparks jealousy within the ranks of the family and becomes a target himself. He then hits the road with his son and begins robbing Al Capone's bank accounts in Chicago while trying to evade an assassin. The mood is dark and gritty, which is a style I always find appealing. Recommended.

Arrrrgghhhh... Xbox network setup not working Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 10:19 PM EST on 7/18/2002
File Under: Games -> Xbox

So here I was, all hot and bothered at the idea of playing some Halo online, I set up my network as per the recommendations of both GameSpy Arcade and XBConnect, and wouldn't you know? It DOESN'T WORK!? For some reason, my computer really really really does not like receiving Internet traffic through a modem connected to a hub. I can receive like 1k and everything craps out.

So, since the little hack network didn't work, I'm going to try setting up a real home network with my Linux box acting as a server and firewall for my PC, Xbox, and eventually PS2 and GameCube.

Anyway, I have a Com 21 DOXport 1110 cable modem and a Linksys hub. My PC is running Win 98. If anyone knows what the problem might be, leave me a message with your sagely advice. In the mean time, I'll just continue enjoying my new high-speed connection.

Oh yeah, I also got The Royal Tenenbaums tonight. Expect impressions and/or a review sometime soon.

Broadband! Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 2:29 PM EST on 7/16/2002
File Under: Misc Tech -> Computers

Whoo Hoo! I have finally entered the 21st century, and made the broadband plunge. My cable modem is all set up and absolutely SMOKING! My next step is to set up a home network, including hooking up the Xbox for some OMG HOT HOT online Halo action.

More later... I'm off to test this bitch out.

Absolutely everything, but nothing in particular... Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 9:16 PM EST on 7/11/2002
File Under: Whatever

I called the cable company the other day and they're going to be out on Tuesday to install a brand-spankin' new cable modem for me! I can't fucking wait... Screw this dial-up crap. I'll probably do a couple write-ups on setting up a home network as well as connecting the Xbox and Dreamcast to the 'net through connection sharing. That oughta be fun. :)

Also, the super-duper Xbox mod chip that I've been waiting for is about to be released, so as soon as that's available, I'll be cracking open my system to put the chip in and tinker around with all this awesome homebrew stuff that's been coming out. I have to test out the SNES and GBA emulators, not to mention the slick-as-all-hell EvolutionX application. Heck, I might even give the half-working N64 emu a quick run. Although, I'd have to redownload my ROMs since I lost them when I reformatted my HD. BUT WAIT! I'll have broadband by then, so why do I care? HAH!

Anyhow, here's a dose of true E/N for you guys: I'm going to be out of town for the weekend, enjoying myself at Cedar Point, aka roller coaster heaven, and possibly getting drunk and/or laid. (But sshhhhhh, I didn't say that.....)

So anyway, when I'm back, my first task to tackle will be to get the topic-based archive up and running, which should be no problem at all, and hopefully I'll feel like getting to a DVD review or two. I have a hankering to dissect Blue Velvet - I'm becoming a total David Lynch freak. OH! That gives me an idea... I'll write up a total explanation of Mulholland Drive, since it's such a mindbender of a film. I have the entire timeline figured out, and I think I caught a lot of the symbolism, too. That one will be fun to do.

Anyway, enough for this post. I haven't really said a damn thing, and yet, I managed to write out four paragraphs anyway. Oh well, guess that's just the E/N showing through.

[Edit: I almost forgot... ETERNAL DARNESS IS ONE OF THE BEST DAMN GAMES EVER! And to think, Mario Sunshine is only about a month away, too. God, am I glad I have a GameCube. And hell, with all this homebrew stuff, I'm finally glad I have an Xbox. Oh, and SOCOM is almost out on the PS2. It's a damn good thing I have a job to support my renewed game addiction... And I might be getting an even higher paying tech-related one soon, too, but that's an entirely different post for later.]

All you people begging for MAME-X Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 8:31 PM EST on 7/9/2002
File Under: Games -> Xbox

Gee, nothing like some good old illegal software to get the ball rolling... I've had more responses to my post that I found MAME-X for the Xbox than any other comment I've made on this site. Hell, fewer people have voted in that lame-ass poll there off to the left than have begged me for MAME! Of course, that's not saying much.

Anyhow, I seem to be suffering a bout of, um... amnesia... right now, and can't seem to "remember" anything about it. Although, this one word does seem to be stuck in my mind. "EFNet" I'll assume that if anyone knows what that means, they just might be able to track down MAME for the Xbox. If you don't know what that means, don't come begging to me, because I don't remember, remember?

I'm such a tease.

Eternal Darkness = Eternal Bliss! Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 4:35 AM EST on 7/8/2002
File Under: Games -> GameCube -> Quickview

Wow, now this is my kind of game! Eternal Darkness for the GameCube perfectly blends atmosphere, puzzle-solving, exploration, and plenty of action into one hell of a package! (Man, does that ever sound like a commercial...) Honestly, this is the one big-name title for the 'Cube that I never really paid attention to, or got particularly excited about, (I WANT MY STAR FOX, DAMMIT!) but now that I've given it a chance, it is (far and away) my favorite game on the GameCube.

You start the game off in the shoes of Alex Roivas ("savior" backwards, you might notice) who heads off to handle the estate of her grandfather, whose bloody corpse was found, headless, in his Rhode Island mansion. Not long after, you discover the Tome of Eternal Darkness hidden away in a secret study. The game then unfolds, chapter by chapter, as you read through the book. In each chapter, you take over control of a different character in various time periods.

Though some people may rag on the fact that gameplay is essentially linear, I haven't found it to be a problem at all. In fact, I like knowing where I need to go, and what I need to do next. It sure beats out wandering around aimlessly!

Anyway, I can't explain how much this game really appeals to me. There's something about its atmosphere and style that just completely sucks me in. I think it has something to do with the fact that just as much emphasis is placed on examining your surroundings and solving puzzles as is on action - if not more so. Any game that makes me use my brain gets automatic props from me!

Initial Vibe: Extremely positive! The only complaint I can even think of is a really lame one - I wish the characters would move faster than a leisurely stroll, especially when surrounded by zombies that want to hack me to bits! Other than that, I have yet to see a single thing so far that I would change. Expect good things in my full review.

Halo!? I thought I hated this game? Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 4:12 AM EST on 7/8/2002
File Under: Games -> Xbox -> Quickview

Alright, so you know how I felt about Halo and you know that I just so happened to get the game not long ago, but have my feelings on it changed after giving it some more time? Eh... Kinda. There's no question that it's at least a competent game. However, it's not innovative, it's not revolutionary, it's not what it should have been, and it's certainly not "Game of the Year" as the packaging so boldly exclaims. (My personal vote goes for Ico, but, well... I don't think many people are going to back me up on that one.)

I think what may have happened is that, when the game was first unveiled, it really was something different, but by the time it came out, people were still so hyped by the original idea that they didn't really judge the game by the final product alone.

Originally, it promised team-based gameplay and a truly open-ended world to explore. Oh, and it looked really damn good, too. As a result, people got REALLY fucking hyped for it. Then, over the years of development, the game was scaled back into a typical FPS, the online team aspect was scrapped, the levels were trimmed down into only somewhat open ended, and finally it was rushed to make the Xbox launch. Add onto all that, the graphics - while still good - were not as mindblowing as they once were by the time the game finally came out. As a result of all of these changes, we were left with a game that was only a semblance of what it should have been.

How about when I judge the game based on the final product on its own, without taking into account the disappointment over what was scrapped? Well, then it's still a good game, but doesn't really bring anything new to the table. It refines the aspects of gameplay that other games innovated. I still stand by Goldeneye as the best console FPS and Deus Ex as the overall best FPS ever, though. Oh, but I do have to mention the AI. This is one area that Halo really does stand out. Those enemies are pretty damn smart, and your fellow Marines are competent, too! Sure, they die pretty quick, but at least they take enemies down with them!

Initial Vibe: Positive. Most of my complaints about the game deal with the undeserved amount of praise that it received, as well as all the truly innovative ideas that were scrapped for the final version. This doesn't mean it's a BAD game, by any means... It just means that it isn't as innovative or mindblowing as everyone else tries to make it out to be. I know the game is old news, but I'll go more into my thoughts in a full review anyway.

Ah, I love the smell of new video games... Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 5:04 PM EST on 7/7/2002
File Under: Games

I picked up a couple of new games yesterday. If you're an astute observationalist (is that even a word?), you might notice that "Buy GCN Eternal Darkness" has been replaced by "Eternal Darkness GCN Review" on my To Do list off to the left. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you're not stupid and can figure out what that means. Okay, well... Now that I think about it, assuming you're not stupid might be a bad idea, so I'll just tell you what it means: I got Eternal Darkness for the GameCube, and damn, does this game ever rule!

I also picked up an Xbox game for the first time since I got the system for Christmas. I got *meep*Halo*meep* HALO!? But didn't I just totally rip on it a few posts ago? Well, yes... But two factors contributed to this decision. #1, I should be getting broadband soon, so this means I'll be able to play it with some friends online, which makes any game more fun. And, more importantly, #2, it was free. Why pass up a free game? And no, it wasn't pirated.

Anyway, more info later...

The CGI backend... Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 4:03 PM EST on 7/7/2002
File Under: Site News

Well, I decided to take the easy (Read: Lazy) way out and use a pre-made script for the backend of the site, instead of coding one of my own from scratch. It's not quite perfect, but it's close enough. The categories aren't exactly working the way I wanted them to, but it's no biggie.

I'm in the process of converting over the posts I wrote before, which should really only take a matter of a few minutes. The timestamps on them are a bit funked up (yes, I know I said "funked") but the dates are right. I don't think anyone will care.

So, anyway, this script will make it easy for me to set an archive up. I dunno when I'll get to that... Just whenever I feel like it, I guess. Also, I'll be able to allow other people to post. Look for a friend or two to join the "team."

Gosford Park - How NOT to make a movie Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 7/5/2002
File Under: Movies -> DVD Review

So, I had the distinct displeasure of sitting through Gosford Park on DVD last night... I mean, with seven Academy Award nominations (including best picture and best director) and a win for best screenplay, it should be a sure-fire good one, right? Oh god, no. People, if you ever plan to make a movie, make sure you have something very, very important. This "something" is called a PLOT, aka STORY, aka SOMETHING HAPPENING!

Gosford Park is over two hours of generally unlikable British snobs and servants mumbling on with indecipherable accents while absolutely nothing of interest happens at all. Seriously. I had to turn on the sub-titles just to catch what everyone was saying. The actors seemed to have a penchant for mumbling, letting their voices trail off, or being completely drowned out by background noise. The packaging bills it as a suspenseful murder mystery, but a murder doesn't even occur until almost 80 minutes into the movie! Even then, nobody really cares who did it - nobody likes the dead guy anyway! Now, I'm all for an interesting character study, but please... There was absolutely no reason for half the scenes in this movie to even be filmed. They added absolutely nothing to the story. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be a murder mystery, a social commentary, or some failed experiment in ensamble casts by director Robert Altman.

Anyway, this movie isn't really worth my time to keep writing about it. Just avoid it, please.

Final Verdict: Avoid like the plague. The little semblance of a plot that this movie actually has doesn't show up until the last half hour. Even then, it didn't make the previous hour and forty five minutes worth it.

Hello, World! Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 7/4/2002
File Under: Site News

Well, I guess this is it. After months and months (read: A few days) of preparation, TechiE/N is now ready to open for business. I'm redirecting the old gaminginfinity.com domain this way, (The real URL is techien.com, though.) meaning my humble little abode will now actually be getting some traffic.

With that said, check out this page for a little more info about TechiE/N, or leave me a message and let me know you were here, and any thoughts you might have about my site rolling through your puny little brain.

MAME-X for Xbox Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 7/4/2002
File Under: Games -> Xbox

If anyone managed to snag one of the MAME-X Beta 4 binaries for the Xbox before mame.net took them down, please contact me. I'll make sure that it's worth your while. I still have some t-shirts and stuff hanging around from the Gaming Infinity days... If you're not interested in those, I might be able to find something else up your alley.

[Edit: Nevermind, I used my super-sleuthing skills to track it down myself. And it's Beta 5, at that.]

GTC Africa... Tearing up third world countries in expensive cars! Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 7/4/2002
File Under: Games -> PlayStation 2 -> Quickview

Well, well, well... What have we here? It looks as though the PR people for Majesco still have me on their mailing list to receive reviewable games even though Gaming Infinity has been shut down for the past few months. Oh well, I'm not complaining! It's nice to have a new game unexpectedly show up in the mail... This time, I was treated to the surprisingly fun GTC Africa for the PlayStation 2. In fact, I knew absolutely nothing about this game before it showed up. I didn't even know it existed! I think that's a good thing, though, because it seems like, as I'm becoming more and more jaded with the game industry, it's the games that I go into with zero expectations that I end up liking the most.

GTC Africa is an interesting Rally romp across the entire continent of Africa. You race on a myriad of courses around landmarks from Cape Town in South Africa to the pyramids in Egypt. The gameplay, for the most part, is typical rally racing, but in a Touring Car inspired difference, there's a full grid of opponents to race to the finish line. This makes for a much more intense experience than the usually clock-oriented rally race as you jockey for position and try to outrace your opponents.

This game features a unique championship mode that has you advancing in the usual way by accumulating points depending on your finishing position in each race, but with an extra twist. You're also expected to stay in good standing with your chosen team. By winning races and avoiding damaging your car, you gain team points and stay in good standing. If you fare poorly and do a lot of damage to your car, your standing in the team will drop. As a result, you'll have less time to finish each race. If you fall far enough, your team will not-so-kindly ask you to stop racing for them.

In addition to the championship mode and the three circuits there-in, the game also has the typical single race and practice modes. A cool extra that is included (and more racing games should have) is a challenge mode where you're presented with specialized tasks to complete, such as starting far behind another vehicle and given a set amount of time to catch up. I haven't explored this mode too much, but I suspect that it will provide some nice variety when I'm in the mood for something a little different than simply racing around a loop.

Anyway, I like what I see in GTC Africa so far, and the game keeps growing on me the more I play it. After completing the first championship circuit and unlocking the first 10 of 19 tracks, I expect to be even more satisfied with the game the more I play it. Look for a full review when I have more time to dig into the rest of the tracks and the challenge mode.

Initial Vibe: Positive. I fully expect to be able to recommend this game once I've had a chance to explore everything it has to offer. Stay tuned for my final review.

You're digging your own grave, RIAA... Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 7/3/2002
File Under: Music

First the RIAA shut down Napster, but I really couldn't hold against them, as it obviously really was aiding copyright infringement by millions of users. I didn't really care, nor did many others, because I simply moved on to other software like Morpheus and KaZaa that have decentralized networks that could never be shut down. Well, unless they started suing individual users, and the RIAA wouldn't be stupid enough to sue their own customers, would they? WOULD THEY? Well, it looks like I was wrong.

According to a Wall Street Journal article posted on MSNBC.com, the RIAA is planning to sue individual file-sharing network users. Though they're only planning to sue the most prolific users, this is still a smack to the face of a public that is still buying CDs en masse. Sure, numbers might be down a little, (a mere 5% in 2001 - meaning sales were actually still increasing during Napster's heyday in 1999/2000) but it's not as if record company executives are being sent to the poorhouse.

Hell, maybe the declining sales have something to do with the fact that most of the music the RIAA supports is generic rehash put together to sell to ditzy teenie-boppers? I see dozens of boy bands and cheap punk-wannabes, but nothing truly new and interesting. Case in point, the techno scene (and many other forms of electronica) has exploded since the proliferation of the Internet - especially on college campuses where file-sharing is most popular. Why do you think techno has become so much more popular? Because it's different - something most people have never been exposed to before. And you know what? People LIKE experiencing new and different music! The RIAA is spitting out the same music it has for years, but peoples' tastes are changing.

Or what about the fact that CDs are kept at artifically high prices? I know I would be infinitely more willing to buy a CD if it was priced at $8 to $10 instead of $15 to $20. I'm sure many others would agree. When CDs were first introduced to the market, they carried an average price tag of $17. That was 20 years ago. Who has ever heard of a technology that doesn't go down in price over 20 years? They're gouging CD buyers, plain and simple.

Obviously, the RIAA is still living in the early 90's. The internet and electronic music are here to stay, no matter what they have to say about it. Shutting down file-sharing networks and suing individual users is like trying to stop the incoming tide with a spoon. It's hopeless. Why are they so stupid to not see this? Instead of spending all their time and money on a hopeless cause, why not go with the flow? They should use that money to put their heads together and figure out a way to work the Internet into their business model. As soon as Napster shut down, a dozen new applications popped up in its place. For every high-volume file trader they sue, thousands (if not millions) will still be out there happily sharing away. They're not stopping anything, only making themselves look bad.

What really irks me, though, is that this comes shortly after news that they want to charge royalties for second hand music and the implementation of a system charging online radio stations royalties for the music they play. Most online radio stations are non-profit hobbist sites with zero income. How can they possibly afford to pay the royalties? They can't, so they shut down. My guess is that the RIAA had no real interest in seeing online radio take off and bring them money from royalties - they probably just wanted them to die off. They want to keep things exactly the same, because that's the only way they'll keep making money. (Click here for one webcaster's take on the internet royalty fees.)

The RIAA has a business model stuck in the past and they're trying to keep us there with them. Sorry, but the rest of us are moving on. If you choose not to join us, RIAA, you're just digging your own grave.

Minority Report Review Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 7/2/2002
File Under: Movies -> Cinema -> Review

Minority Report. Unless you have been living under a rock on Mars with your fingers in your ears while reciting the alphabet to yourself in a very loud voice, you have probably heard of it. If you haven't, then I'll just tell you it's a sci-fi adventure starring Tom Cruise and directed by Steven Spielberg. So, even if it sucked, it'd still make a billion dollars anyway. Lucky for us moviegoers, though, it didn't suck. In fact, I thought it was pretty damn good. Granted it had its flaws, but considering the tripe that studios usually put out in the summer and masquerade as blockbusters, Minority Report really stands out.

The year is 2054 and Washington D.C. has been testing a new system for the past six years that, through the use of psychics (or "pre-cogs," as the movie calls them), allows them to detect ahead of time when a murder is going to take place and who is going to be involved in it. This "pre-crime" division then tracks down the suspect, arrests them, and locks them up before they ever have a chance to commit the crime.

(Now, if you're particularly worried about spoilers, you might want to skip the next two paragraphs. Just a word of warning.)

At first, it appears this system is working perfectly. There have been absolutely no murders in the Washington D.C. area in the last six years, and they are campaigning vigorously to have it implemented nationwide. That is, until a detective in the division, John Anderton (Tom Cruise), shows up in the pre-cogs' visions. Believing he has been set up, he runs and confides his dilemma in one of the researchers who initially developed the pre-crime system. He finds out that the system is not, in fact, perfect, and that sometimes one of the pre-cogs sees an alternate future. When this happens, these "Minority Reports" are simply ignored and the suspected culprit is tracked down and arrested anyway.

Believing he truly is innocent of the crime that is going to be committed, Anderton is determined to return to headquarters and uncover his case's Minority Report and prove his innocence by uncovering his alternate future. This sets up a chain of events involving everything from eye transplants to Anderton (maybe) finding the man who killed his son six years before to uncovering secrets about a long past murder case.

Unfortunately, the writers decided to only briefly touch on the morality issues of using pychic humans essentially as slaves, and of imprisioning someone who has never actually committed a crime. I really believe these are the true questions that this movie brings up, but they're largely ignored. Instead, we're treated to a lot of really excellent special effects and action scenes. Why not have both action AND make the viewers think at the same time? While the plotline really is one of the better ones I've seen come out of sci-fi movies since maybe The Matrix, (except for a few holes) I can't help but feel like they dumbed it down a bit just to make sure people didn't question any of this if they didn't want to.

One of the most redeeming factors of this movie, I felt, is how the CGI special effects were handled. Steven Spielberg (thankfully) decided not to go the same route as George Lucas and computerize the fuck out of everything. Instead, we get a world that (for good reason) looks very much like our own, but with cool futuristic additions thrown in for good measure. I particularly liked the scene with the electronic "spiders" that were sent out to scour a building in search of Anderton. This is how CGI should be used - to add to a scene that truly needs and benefits from it. One CGI scene full of animated advertisements that called people by name through the use of eye scanners, which established how impossible it was for Anderton to hide, went a bit overboard with the product placement, though.

My only other real complaint was that the movie simply didn't end when it should have. At well over two hours long, I started getting a bit restless. Now, if a movie is three hours long and completely engaging the entire way through, I have no problem blissfully sitting and watching it without even noticing the time. The problem with Minority Report is that it didn't end at the point in the plot that I felt it should have. There was a very climactic point about twenty minutes before the end of the movie that would have served as a great ending. It would have left viewers with a coherent resolution, but it would have also kept everyone thinking and discussing if the police had done the right thing.

(If you haven't seen the movie yet, DON'T read the next paragraph. Come back when you have.)

Tying in with my feelings that the writers should have further explored the moral dilemma that this pre-crime system brings up, I really felt like the subplot with Ann Lively should have been left out, and the movie should have ended when Anderton was arrested and locked up. Instead, we're given twenty more minutes for him to be let out and wrap everything up in a nice happy little ending. Again, it simply felt like they avoided making any true statement simply to keep the movie masses happy.

Final Verdict: Recommended. Despite eschewing the tough questions the story brings up, it still manages to remain highly entertaining with CGI effects that are extremely well used, but not overdone (e.g. Star Wars) and some good action sequences to boot.

Our dads are fucking? When did that start? Tim 
Posted by: Tim at 11:00 PM EST on 7/1/2002
File Under: Whatever

Oh, man. I don't know whether to break down laughing, or to weep for humanity. I stumbled upon this link last night, and found what is quite possibly the funniest chat log ever. Now, normally I would run screaming from a chat log because, well, they're not funny. In fact, they're black holes of comedy. This one, however, is different... In fact, I don't even want to dampen its reputation by calling it a chat log, so instead, I'll call it a "record of electronic person to person communication." Here's a sample:
dys4iK: except, my mom is shooting up in the bathroom, 
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: wat do u mean by that
dys4iK: and dad is drunk with some other woman.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: ummm, she is at my house
dys4iK: she is?
dys4iK: since when?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: and ur dad and my dad are out of
town on a business trip
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: so what are u talkin about
dys4iK: hey, whoa.
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: she has been here all da
dys4iK: our dads are fucking?
dys4iK: when did that start?
sweet_thang_for_u_2002: whatever
dys4iK: that's pretty crazy.
dys4iK: think they'd let us join in?
Now that I'm done laughing, I'm going to go weep for humanity... There are too many stupid people in this world.

Oh, and in other news, I'm going to see Minority Report tonight after work. I will REPORT (HAHA! Lame pun intended! I am funny!) back with my impressions, and first feature article! WooHoo?

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